4 weeks and 4 days to go

I find myself just sitting in Lincoln's room. Imagining what it will be like once he is actually here. I know there is absolutely no way I will ever be 100% prepared for what is to come but I do know I am ready. I am ready to be a mom. Now I have been like a mom before in my life. I am a dog mom. Now before you go and say that isn't even close to the same thing, I know that. But since my dog was pretty much born he has been in my life. I have made sacrifices for my dog, and well I would give a kidney to my dog if he needed it. (Anyone who knows me knows that I just LOVE my dog). I am well aware that a dog is very different from a child. I am a step mom. Which is similar to being a mother. I spend time with her and take care of her, but at the end of the day I didn't give birth to her so our bond won't be the same as her's with her mother. This is actually my time to become a real mother.
Sometimes I find myself just standing in the doorway of Lincoln's room thinking about how long I have wanted to have a family. I can remember thinking about having a family when I was younger. I would imagine things like family photos and camping trips. I think of what my parents used to do with me and my sister. I can remember my mom hated store bought Valentines to give to my class. She would take my sister and I to the craft store to pick out glitter and paper to make our own cards for our classmates. A lot of that is now instilled in me. I make a lot of homemade little cards now in my adult life and I can only think back that my mom made me think that store bought cards are just not good enough! (I do still buy Hallmark cards from time to time, I just don't if I can help it). I think of my family camping trips. Every summer my family and I would get in the big ol Suburban and drive to some campground. My Aunt and Uncle brought the trailer loaded up with bikes and gear and we would spend a whole weekend just roasting marshmallows or my personal favorite, playing in the hammock. These are the good memories I want to make with my own children and husband.
The best part about starting my family is that I am starting it with the most supportive husband any girl could ask for. I love how John already talks about trips to Disneyland and even saving money for Lincoln to go to college! John is already thinking about coaching sports for Lincoln also. I couldn't ask for a better partner.
Funny how this post really turned into me just thinking of the past and how it will mold the future for my baby boy. I really wanted to write about how excited I am that I am really only a month away from meeting my little boy. Just have one more part to get through and that is the labor part. I wont lie to you, I am scared to death of giving birth. At the same time I wish it would happen sooner then later because it will be well worth it to meet our baby.