I am feeling much more at ease since my last post. I accepted that Lincoln is going to be here in a little over 12 weeks and I have accepted that I will get everything I need done before that time. In the meantime I am going to enjoy my pregnancy the best I can! I am also going to enjoy the time I have left with my husband! It's hard to believe that in about 12 weeks and 2 days we are expecting a baby! First item to check off my list of things to do is a 3D/4D ultrasound! I have one scheduled for Saturday at 4pm! I can't wait to see Lincoln again and see what his little face looks like. We are planning on having John's mom and his daughter join us for the 10-15 min appointment. We will get photos to take home and also a DVD of the entire appointment. I hope to get it up online to share with everyone.
I am so ready to become a mom and I know I have a list of things to do before he arrives but I also know that I will never feel 100% prepared! Kinda how John and I first talked about starting a family...I had a list of things I felt HAD to be done before we could have a baby but after a little thought I realized that we will always have more things to get done in life and I wasn't going to put off the life I wanted until everything was perfect because lets face it...life will never be 100% perfect. I have a husband who loves and respects me and a wonderful support system of family to help us with raising a baby. That is all I need!
Thank you everyone for the continued support and love! :)
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Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Anxiety....
So I am a really positive person however tonight I am feeling especially anxious.
Every few days I check my iPhone apps to see Lincoln's progress. It's like having a baby book always in my hand. So today I pull up my "what to expect" app and I see all about our baby.
My countdown is now just about 13 weeks and baby is about the size of a head of cauliflower. It says he is roughly 16 inches in length and about 2.5 lbs. All of this sounds great until I notice the box under trimester now says 3rd.
I closed the app when I saw that and reopened it. I thought I must have ready it wrong. Sure enough it says 3rd trimester. I quickly open a different app and that one is reading 3rd trimester also. I guess I knew that week 27 was after week 26 but suddenly I find myself terrified! What happened to the 2nd trimester? It feels like this is all starting to move so fast. Am I going to have time to get everything done that needs to be done before the baby arrives?
I talked to my mom and she said I should start a list of what I need to get done but I don't know where to start. I think this is one I will need to sleep on and hopefully get a list made by the weekend. I just hope I can stop feeling anxious and start feeling more excited! I mean I am having a baby after all!
Thank you for listening.
Every few days I check my iPhone apps to see Lincoln's progress. It's like having a baby book always in my hand. So today I pull up my "what to expect" app and I see all about our baby.
My countdown is now just about 13 weeks and baby is about the size of a head of cauliflower. It says he is roughly 16 inches in length and about 2.5 lbs. All of this sounds great until I notice the box under trimester now says 3rd.
I closed the app when I saw that and reopened it. I thought I must have ready it wrong. Sure enough it says 3rd trimester. I quickly open a different app and that one is reading 3rd trimester also. I guess I knew that week 27 was after week 26 but suddenly I find myself terrified! What happened to the 2nd trimester? It feels like this is all starting to move so fast. Am I going to have time to get everything done that needs to be done before the baby arrives?
I talked to my mom and she said I should start a list of what I need to get done but I don't know where to start. I think this is one I will need to sleep on and hopefully get a list made by the weekend. I just hope I can stop feeling anxious and start feeling more excited! I mean I am having a baby after all!
Thank you for listening.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
An amazing partner....
I talked to an old friend today and I started thinking I need to reflect....
I thought I would take a break from posting allll about being pregnant and focus a little on my husband.
Since the day I met John my world has never been the same.
In my past I had a couple rough and serious relationships. My first was my high school sweetheart, Drew. He was funny and smart and always kept me laughing. He took the girl I was and helped her become a more independent and strong woman. I married Drew. Sadly I lost Drew to Hodkins Lymphoma shortly after graduation. This pushed me into what I call being self destructive and terrified that I would live a life alone where nobody would ever accept me. (A lot of that had to do with his family and things they said out of anger) I have come to terms with the fact that the hateful things said were not directed at me but I got most of them because you can't attack cancer. I met my ex-husband, Craig. He promised me the world and gave me nothing but pain and abuse. He made me believe that I would never find someone to "put up" with me. After many sad nights and crying myself to sleep I finally realized that I would risk being alone for the rest of my life because that was a better future then staying, so I left!
That's when I met my husband, John. Now John found me and I was broken. I lost a love and was abused by another. I was not in anyway what you would call an eligible bachlorette! I was trying to find who I am and what I wanted to do with my life. John showed me that I am a beautiful person. He was always so supportive and understanding. Eventually I found that he brought out the best in me. I fell into a type of love I had never felt. Unconditional and amazing. When he asked me to marry him I just couldn't believe how lucky I was.
John and I just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. Feels like just yesterday we were cuddling on recliners in my bachelor like pad and talking about the hell I had gone through. We aren't perfect and yes we fight but I love John and best of all I can trust him with my heart.
John is the most amazing husband I could ever ask for. Best of all he is also going to be the most amazing father to our baby boy, Lincoln!
John has a way of being totally calm in every situation and keeping me calm as well. He is my rock.
The most amazing feeling in this world is knowing that my husband and I are making this family together and how great it will be to show my children how a woman is supposed to be treated. Lincoln is still so so small but I can't help but know that his daddy will make him into a wonderful husband for a lucky little girl someday.
John I don't know how often you read my blog or if you ever read it. But in case you do....I am so blessed in life with you and thank you for taking me as I am and accepting my best and worst parts and loving me all the same no matter what.
I thought I would take a break from posting allll about being pregnant and focus a little on my husband.
Since the day I met John my world has never been the same.
In my past I had a couple rough and serious relationships. My first was my high school sweetheart, Drew. He was funny and smart and always kept me laughing. He took the girl I was and helped her become a more independent and strong woman. I married Drew. Sadly I lost Drew to Hodkins Lymphoma shortly after graduation. This pushed me into what I call being self destructive and terrified that I would live a life alone where nobody would ever accept me. (A lot of that had to do with his family and things they said out of anger) I have come to terms with the fact that the hateful things said were not directed at me but I got most of them because you can't attack cancer. I met my ex-husband, Craig. He promised me the world and gave me nothing but pain and abuse. He made me believe that I would never find someone to "put up" with me. After many sad nights and crying myself to sleep I finally realized that I would risk being alone for the rest of my life because that was a better future then staying, so I left!
That's when I met my husband, John. Now John found me and I was broken. I lost a love and was abused by another. I was not in anyway what you would call an eligible bachlorette! I was trying to find who I am and what I wanted to do with my life. John showed me that I am a beautiful person. He was always so supportive and understanding. Eventually I found that he brought out the best in me. I fell into a type of love I had never felt. Unconditional and amazing. When he asked me to marry him I just couldn't believe how lucky I was.
John and I just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. Feels like just yesterday we were cuddling on recliners in my bachelor like pad and talking about the hell I had gone through. We aren't perfect and yes we fight but I love John and best of all I can trust him with my heart.
John is the most amazing husband I could ever ask for. Best of all he is also going to be the most amazing father to our baby boy, Lincoln!
John has a way of being totally calm in every situation and keeping me calm as well. He is my rock.
The most amazing feeling in this world is knowing that my husband and I are making this family together and how great it will be to show my children how a woman is supposed to be treated. Lincoln is still so so small but I can't help but know that his daddy will make him into a wonderful husband for a lucky little girl someday.
John I don't know how often you read my blog or if you ever read it. But in case you do....I am so blessed in life with you and thank you for taking me as I am and accepting my best and worst parts and loving me all the same no matter what.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
94 days to go.....
94 days until Lincoln is due....and in 32 days John and I leave for Playa Del Carmen, Mexico for a little vacation. I am nervous to be traveling around 31 weeks but picturing my baby bump on the warm sandy beaches of Mexico seems so relaxing and beautiful.
I can't wait for these next 94 days. John and I have so much to look forward to!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
25 weeks....only 15 weeks to go!
I am now 25 weeks pregnant! Everyone tells me my belly is looking bigger everyday and well it should....Lincoln is now just about 1.5-2 lbs! The size of an eggplant!
I love feeling the movements and watching him move across my belly. I also listen to his heartbeat with John on a regular basis! The at home doppler tool that a friend gave me has been amazing to listen. I read that his lungs are quickly developing and his nostrils are no longer plugged so he is preparing his vocal chords to be ready to start making noise. He has the hiccups the other night. Only felt a couple jolts but it's amazing to think that he is becoming more and more like a baby and less of the unknown that I had been carrying before. At the small small sizes of poppy seeds and blueberries its hard to imagine that being anything at all...but now I can actually picture my little boy actually in my arms.
I am curious to see how much bigger I get over the next few weeks as we prepare to go on a little baby moon to Mexico. :)
Monday, February 6, 2012
24 week check-up
Today John and I had our 24 week check up to see how our little baby Miller is doing.
We saw Dr. Sargent and I got weighed and measured. I am now weighing in at 139lbs...not going to lie the weight gain just kills me but I know I can work it off and I know that our little Lincoln is well worth it. However is order to ensure I am staying healthy I am going to stop giving in to my CRAZY cravings. Lately I have been craving ONLY sweet stuff....from cotton candy at the blazer game to late night brownies with ice cream! There has to be a better way.
After some research I looked at a chart I had seen in my Pregnancy book, "What to expect when you are expecting." Starting now I am going to do my best to use healthy substitutes to my cravings. Especially because I already have trouble consuming enough healthy calories for the day I would like what I am able to get in me to be healthy instead of empty calories.
On another note Lincoln had a healthy heartbeat of 150 bpm today. He is certainly moving around on a constant basis now. I am able to feel him almost all day long unless he is resting. John is absolutely loving every minute of this. He has been able to feel Lincoln move a couple times but I can't wait for his movements to become stronger so he can feel more.
I go back in to see Dr. Sargent in 4 weeks. In the meantime I was given the go ahead to schedule a 3D/4D ultrasound. :) I can't wait to do some research and find the perfect place to do that!
Here is that handy chart I am going to try for my cravings: Feel free to leave me any comments with suggestions for healthy options as well!
Substitute healthy stand-ins for your cravings.
We saw Dr. Sargent and I got weighed and measured. I am now weighing in at 139lbs...not going to lie the weight gain just kills me but I know I can work it off and I know that our little Lincoln is well worth it. However is order to ensure I am staying healthy I am going to stop giving in to my CRAZY cravings. Lately I have been craving ONLY sweet stuff....from cotton candy at the blazer game to late night brownies with ice cream! There has to be a better way.
After some research I looked at a chart I had seen in my Pregnancy book, "What to expect when you are expecting." Starting now I am going to do my best to use healthy substitutes to my cravings. Especially because I already have trouble consuming enough healthy calories for the day I would like what I am able to get in me to be healthy instead of empty calories.
On another note Lincoln had a healthy heartbeat of 150 bpm today. He is certainly moving around on a constant basis now. I am able to feel him almost all day long unless he is resting. John is absolutely loving every minute of this. He has been able to feel Lincoln move a couple times but I can't wait for his movements to become stronger so he can feel more.
I go back in to see Dr. Sargent in 4 weeks. In the meantime I was given the go ahead to schedule a 3D/4D ultrasound. :) I can't wait to do some research and find the perfect place to do that!
Here is that handy chart I am going to try for my cravings: Feel free to leave me any comments with suggestions for healthy options as well!
Substitute healthy stand-ins for your cravings.
| Instead of | Try | ||
| Ice cream | Nonfat frozen yogurt or reduced-sugar, low-fat ice cream, sherbet, or sorbet | ||
| Can of cola | Mineral water with fruit juice or a squeeze of lime | ||
| Doughnut or sweetened pastry | Whole-grain cinnamon raisin toast or half a small whole-grain bagel with low-fat strawberry cream cheese spread | ||
| Slice of cake | Low-fat banana nut or zucchini bread, or angel food cake topped with fresh strawberries | ||
| Sweet, low-fiber cereals | Whole-grain cereal or oatmeal topped with a little brown sugar and cinnamon, raisins, or cranberries | ||
| Potato chips | Baked potato or tortilla chips, popcorn (plain or sprinkled with popcorn seasonings), or pretzels | ||
| Sour cream | Nonfat sour cream or nonfat plain yogurt | ||
| Sundae toppings | Fresh berries, sliced bananas, or crushed pineapple in juice, topped with a sprinkle of coconut or – if you crave crunch – chopped nuts | ||
| Canned fruit in sugar syrup | Fresh fruit or unsweetened canned or frozen fruit | ||
| Chocolate | Hot cocoa made with nonfat or low-fat milk – or homemade trail mix with raisins, dried fruits, nuts, and a few chocolate chips | ||
| Cookies | Graham crackers or other low-sugar cookies with no more than 3 grams of sugar per cookie (add a little peanut butter if you like) | ||
| Cheesecake or other creamy dessert | Small slices of cheese on whole wheat crackers, low-fat vanilla or rice pudding, or some low-fat cream cheese and a dab of fruit spread on a graham cracker |
Friday, February 3, 2012
Mom club
My whole life I have had trouble making girl friends. The truth is I can count my really good girl friends on one hand. I am completely okay with this and always open to meeting new people but I never seem to have a lot in common with other women.
I am not your typical woman. I love sports, I love to get dirty, and I would prefer a night camping to a night out of the town. Tomboy...thats pretty much how I was described most of my life...OH and don't forget awkward ;) The fact I am married still blows my mind sometimes!
However now that I am pregnant I am finding I am part of this "mom club". For some reason meeting new friends and talking to people is just happening. It seems completely normal but I can't help but think if maybe this is all I have needed is to find people with one amazing thing in common with me...the fact that we are both becoming moms. Even at work I feel like a whole new group of people talk to me and want to know me and the only change between now and 6 months ago is my growing baby bump.
I am kinda proud of myself through this whole thing because I feel like I am branching out. Maybe it's because I am really hoping to have people to be around that have kids. Maybe I am hoping for play dates. Maybe I am just growing up a little more each day. Everyday is one step closer to the day I have to be a mom. I full on grown up. No matter what I must always stay strong for my son. I am excited, happy, and terrified all at the same time. It really helps to have these new friends around who are understanding to what is going on in my head.
I am not your typical woman. I love sports, I love to get dirty, and I would prefer a night camping to a night out of the town. Tomboy...thats pretty much how I was described most of my life...OH and don't forget awkward ;) The fact I am married still blows my mind sometimes!
However now that I am pregnant I am finding I am part of this "mom club". For some reason meeting new friends and talking to people is just happening. It seems completely normal but I can't help but think if maybe this is all I have needed is to find people with one amazing thing in common with me...the fact that we are both becoming moms. Even at work I feel like a whole new group of people talk to me and want to know me and the only change between now and 6 months ago is my growing baby bump.
I am kinda proud of myself through this whole thing because I feel like I am branching out. Maybe it's because I am really hoping to have people to be around that have kids. Maybe I am hoping for play dates. Maybe I am just growing up a little more each day. Everyday is one step closer to the day I have to be a mom. I full on grown up. No matter what I must always stay strong for my son. I am excited, happy, and terrified all at the same time. It really helps to have these new friends around who are understanding to what is going on in my head.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
MORE trips to the doctor :(
This morning I began having pain in my right kidney AGAIN :(
I went to work planning on calling my doctor at break to let them know what is going on. About 9am I went to the bathroom to find a lot of blood in my urine. I caved and called Dr. Sargent right away who talked to me and ultimately sent me to the urologist, Dr. Rosenquist. Dr. Rosenquist is the doctor who did my surgery and placed the stent and we were thinking that was what was causing the pain and bleeding.
After a long afternoon of blood draws and urinalysis testing I got in to see the urologist and he determined the stent had to come out. The stent took about 5 minutes for him to remove the stent and was incredibly uncomfortable. However we got the stent out and happily I already notice the kidney pain is gone. My only struggle now is going to be hoping all the stones actually passed and if this stent removal doesn't cause my kidney stone issue to return. For now we just wait and see if any pain comes back. All I can do to try to prevent it is to stay active and drink lots and lots of water.
I am happy that I have such a great medical team working with me! I can't even begin to explain how happy I am with the care I have gotten with Dr. Sargent and his office staff. Even Dr. Rosenquist and his staff today was amazing. Although I am exhausted and sick of dealing with this kidney stone issue I am glad I have a great team of doctors that I trust to do the right thing for me and Lincoln :)
I went to work planning on calling my doctor at break to let them know what is going on. About 9am I went to the bathroom to find a lot of blood in my urine. I caved and called Dr. Sargent right away who talked to me and ultimately sent me to the urologist, Dr. Rosenquist. Dr. Rosenquist is the doctor who did my surgery and placed the stent and we were thinking that was what was causing the pain and bleeding.
After a long afternoon of blood draws and urinalysis testing I got in to see the urologist and he determined the stent had to come out. The stent took about 5 minutes for him to remove the stent and was incredibly uncomfortable. However we got the stent out and happily I already notice the kidney pain is gone. My only struggle now is going to be hoping all the stones actually passed and if this stent removal doesn't cause my kidney stone issue to return. For now we just wait and see if any pain comes back. All I can do to try to prevent it is to stay active and drink lots and lots of water.
I am happy that I have such a great medical team working with me! I can't even begin to explain how happy I am with the care I have gotten with Dr. Sargent and his office staff. Even Dr. Rosenquist and his staff today was amazing. Although I am exhausted and sick of dealing with this kidney stone issue I am glad I have a great team of doctors that I trust to do the right thing for me and Lincoln :)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
When are you going on maternity leave?!?
Today was a great day. I am glad to be back at work and loving all my coworkers being supportive and all the well wishes. Only one thing kept bothering me!
So I know time is flying by and I also know I am showing now but I had a total of 6 people today ask me when I was taking leave. Normally this question is just no biggie but when I told them each person went on to tell me how they thought I was due within the next month or so! I don't look THAT pregnant yet! They would say, "wow, only 8 more weeks right??" NO NO NO....16 weeks left. This momma still needs to strut her stuff on the beach in Mexico!
Maybe I am over reacting but it still bothered me. Yes I am pregnant and yes you can tell but I actually believe I am very small still! Just look 2 posts back at my 23 weeks post. I have a belly but I am not about to give birth.
After writing that I can see I am just overly emotional but I will post this anyhow because it's how I felt all day long today!
I am glad to have a close group of co workers to reassure me that I am still small and I look cute pregnant.
So I know time is flying by and I also know I am showing now but I had a total of 6 people today ask me when I was taking leave. Normally this question is just no biggie but when I told them each person went on to tell me how they thought I was due within the next month or so! I don't look THAT pregnant yet! They would say, "wow, only 8 more weeks right??" NO NO NO....16 weeks left. This momma still needs to strut her stuff on the beach in Mexico!
Maybe I am over reacting but it still bothered me. Yes I am pregnant and yes you can tell but I actually believe I am very small still! Just look 2 posts back at my 23 weeks post. I have a belly but I am not about to give birth.
After writing that I can see I am just overly emotional but I will post this anyhow because it's how I felt all day long today!
I am glad to have a close group of co workers to reassure me that I am still small and I look cute pregnant.
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